halfbakedpoet:

And here we see a majestic wild mop without a handle frolicking on a beach…

(Source: photosynthesis206, via alrightbulb)

murdercityboulevard:

catsfurever:

can we just start a movement where we go to male politicians events and we ask them sexist questions like “if you are elected who will take care of the kids” and “what designer are you wearing tonight” “do you think that your stunted and constipated male emotions will affect your decision making”

that last one tho

(via alrightbulb)

katbot:

Professor: Your essay must be 3,000 - 6,000 words

Me: image

(via alrightbulb)

theaceoffours:

shrill-ex:

most of the lights are out in my kitchen so there’s a spotlight on my fridge

image

BE…

OUR…

GUEST

(via alrightbulb)

fatwink:

Babies R Us doesn’t even sell babies

(via soliloquizzing)

shaxaphone:

cute things to call your girlfriend:

1. sugar 
2. honey 
3. flour 
4. egg 
5. 1/2lb butter 
6. stir 
7. pour into pan 
8. preheat to 375°

(via trait)

autumn-fhtagn:

If you don’t think different shapes of pasta taste differently you can fuck off

(Source: marxvx, via asahinaaoi)

fucktheflagandfuckyou:

baiovevo:

Oh u love ur mom? Name 3 of her albums

1) I swear to fucking god I have to do everything in this house
2) No it’s okay I’ll do it myself
3) If I have to ask you one more time I’m gonna lose it

(via hipsterzpizza)

pennanpayper:

"Blaziken"- cool fire Pokémon

"Blazeitken"-Barbie encouraging bad choices

(via hellabloggin)

midnightcthulhu:

bangjensen:

stilenski:

2-sly4-u:

westdick:

people just don’t like Texas

Texans don’t like Texas man

first off Californians are a whole different type of rude so I would have to say California is the rudest state

new yorkers are really nice and everyone else is just judgmental and mean

*silent californian weeping*

(Source: kateoplis, via hemmingsphobia)